Batwoman of the House
by ChibiLover123
Summary: THIS STORY IS MEANT FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO LAUGH! SERIOUS IS NOT WELCOME HERE! Featuring Batman/Bruce Wayne Batwoman/Julia Waters Robin/Dick Grayson Robin/Jason Todd Robin/Tim Drake Batman/Terry Chapter 34 up! READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE, REVIEWERS! I GIVE CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL CREATOR!
1. Chapter 1 'Queen Trumps King'

This idea was inspired by The-BlackCat from .com thus these versions of Batman, Robin(s), and Terry are NOT MINE. I just loved her comics so much that I had to write funny little scenes to/with them with Batwoman from 'Batwoman's Flight'. Again, THESE ARE NOT MINE.

^^If you want to see the real deal, go to her profile and enjoy the comics to your heart's content.^^

Also, this isn't a full story in ANY FASHION. There will likely be arcs, but I will not be working on this full time.

^^It's mainly for shits and giggles on my part.^^

Still, I will take any suggestions from readers on what you would like to happen, no matter what it involves.

Well…As long as it stays PG/PG-13 at least… 'shudder'

Without further ado, LET THE FUN BEGIN!

* * *

Everything was peaceful in Wayne Manor, only filled with the faint sound of a Saturday cartoon and the giggles of children…

"MY _MASK_!!!"

Thundering footsteps escaped the library into the grand hall, followed by the playful, half-frightened shrieks of three young Robins.

"GET BACK HERE!!!"

Like an angry phantom, Batman came out of the bookcase, attempting to swoop down on his unsuspecting prey-.

"BRUCE!!!"

All involved in the chase stopped, and the three triumphant-looking boys grinned.

"Mom!"

"Mommy!"

"Dad was going to beat us up!"

"Was he now?"

Hands on her hips and a bandana tied around her hair, Batwoman wrinkled the apron she was wearing.

"May I ask why you were terrorizing our sons? AGAIN?"

"Look at what they did to my spare mask!"

Batman held up the wronged cowl, looking righteous and just, for her to inspect.

Green eyes roved over the messy depiction of Joker on the fabric, which she knew would NEVER come out, and sighed.

Just when Batman thought she would side with him…

Batwoman grinned.

"Nice one, boys. But I would have waited till he was sleeping and done it on HIM."

"AW…"

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"DON'T ENCOURAGE THEM!"

"Don't you yell at ME!" Batwoman warned, the three Robins hiding behind her legs.

"It's YOUR fault I'm missing Chowder right now!"

"Honey, Jules, you don't-!"

"There's nothing you can say that will bring this time back to me!"

Deflating in defeat, Batman decided it would probably just be best to let her take control…

"So for that, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

Groan…

"And not the nice couch! The lumpy couch!"

GROAN…

"Come on, boys. Let's get some ice cream and watch 'The Dark Knight' again."

"I thought you didn't like it because they left you out, mommy." Little Tim Drake stated as they rounded the corner.

"It's to remind you three of what happens when you don't listen to mommy."

Once they were all out of earshot, Batman smacked his forehead and grumbled to himself as he turned to return to the Batcave.

"Why does she show that movie every time this happens?"


	2. Chapter 2 'Adoption Mayhem'

Watching Batman carefully pour chemicals, Batwoman fidgeted with the heavy lead apron she had been forced to wear.

Like she'd never been around an explosion she'd caused before…

"DAD!!! MOMMY!!!"

Wincing as the beakers were almost dropped, she ducked under the table as Batman faced Tim.

"Jason said that I'm adopted!"

"Well, you are."

"WAH!!!"

"Really, sir!"

"BRUCE!"

"But he is!"

Smacking Bruce upside the head, she glared forcefully.

"Fix this. NOW."

"Fine…" He grumbled, dropping down to the crying Tim's level.

"Tim, do you remember why I brought you here to live with us?"

"Because you found me in a cabbage patch and mommy made you."

"Yeah…Well, I took you in so you could be a part of our family, just like Dick and Jason…"

"What about Terry?"

"I found him in a different patch. Look, just because you're adopted doesn't make you any less our son. We're family, understand?"

"Yeah, dad!"

"Good! Now go tell Jason he was once abandoned!"

"Okay!"

Alfred massaged the bridge of his nose as Batwoman smacked her forehead with a sigh.

"There…Fixed that one."

"…Bruce."

"Yeah?"

SMACK!!!

"You're an IDIOT!!!"

"Hey, Jason! You were abandoned!"

"AUUGH!!!"

"…I'LL handle this one, oh great Dark Knight…"

"…"

"…What did I do?"


	3. Chapter 3 'Growing Pains'

"Come to mommy, Terry. Come on, baby."

Smiling brightly as Terry made his wobbly way towards her, Batwoman lifted him up into her arms.

"That's my big boy! Who's going to be a big bat someday? You are!"

Batman smiled proudly beside his butler as she led the baby in another walk, smiling and giggling to each other.

"Look at him go, Alfred. Not even a year old yet and my son's walking like a pro."

"Yes, young Master Terrance certainly knows how to put the right foot forward."

"I can't believe how fast he's growing."

Batwoman laughed as Terry latched onto her wrist, as if to tug her around, and followed.

"Yes, time has a way of moving, and if you're not observant, the years can go by quickly." Alfred stated wisely.

"What seems like simple steps can lead into a run that leads to the road of independence."

Falling on her back to let the baby onto her stomach, the green-eyed brunette couldn't help laughing at the sloppy tickles and giggling weight.

"And perhaps the most difficult obstacle to face is not for the child…"

Batwoman blinked in confusion to find that Terry was no longer on top of her…

"But for the parent to let go." Alfred finished as he began to walk away.

…

"Bruce. Bruce! He can't breathe!"


	4. Chapter 4 'Driving Mishaps'

"Don't look like such a Gloomy Gus, sweetie. It wasn't THAT bad."

"You blew up the kitchen!"

"I was making peanut butter sandwiches, Bruce."

"With three sticks of C4!?!"

"I was making them the FUN way."

Bat-Glare.

"…You know that doesn't work on me. Now keep your eyes on the road before we run the boys over."

"I'm not going to-."

SCREECH!!!

"BRUCE!"

"I got it! I GOT IT!"

Silence fell over the Batmobile…

"…I think you need to go back to driving school."

"I drive just fine!"

"You almost ran over a squirrel!"

"It got in my way!"

"Squirrels don't try to commit suicide, Bruce!"

"Well, if you stopped distracting me, no squirrels would be in danger!"

"…Bruce."

"What?!"

"…A herd of kids."

"OH CRAP-!!!"

SCREECH!!!

…

"…I'm driving from now on."


	5. Chapter 5 'Familiar Behavior'

Turned around in her seat, Batwoman tickled Terry as the Batmobile slid to a halt at the bus stop.

Smiling at the giggling little bat-boy, she sat down properly as the window rolled down.

"Hi, dad! Hi, mom!" The trio of Robins chorused.

"Hi, boys."

"Get in the car."

Pouting in retaliation towards Batman's stony expression, she pressed the button to unlock the back doors.

"Hi, Terry!" Tim greeted, climbing around the baby seat to the other side.

"Dad, mom, Jason was fighting the playground, again." Dick informed, sitting on the same side as Tim.

"You snitch!" Jason complained, closing the door beside him.

"Jason! How many times have I told you about fighting?!" Batman demanded.

"A lot!"

"Smart aleck! You can forget about training tonight! I was going to show how to drop kick your opponent!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"You'll be sorry if I have to see your teacher!"

Smacking Batman upside the head and pointing at the street, Batwoman turned in her seat to pin Jason with a disappointed stare.

"I thought I taught you all better than to get into unnecessary fight."

Batman's next whisper didn't go unnoticed…

"Did he win?"

"BRUCE!!!"

"What?"

"You're encouraging him! We shouldn't condone reckless violence!"

Grumbling to keep in his retaliation, mainly because Batwoman could look pretty scary, Batman returned his attention to the road.

Then came the chaos…

"Quit kicking my seat!"

"I'm hungry, dad."

"Whatcha gonna do about it, DDDick?"

"Shut up! Mom! Dad!"

"I'd kill for a crime spree now." Batman muttered.

"I'd join you." Batwoman agreed.

"STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"

"I'm gonna pound you, Jason!"

"I got gum on my shoe."

"If you kids don't shut up right now, I'm going to-!"

All of the men stopped, and Batwoman practically bathed in the blessed silence while it lasted…

"YECH! The baby smells!"

"He made poo!"

"Man! It stinks! I'm gonna hurl!"

"Shut up! It's not that bad!"

Of course, Batman still handed out gas masks to the occupants of the car.

"NOW I know why men can't change a baby." Batwoman started, smiling as she twisted expertly to pick up Terry and settle him in her lap.

"Your noses are just too sensitive."

"Let's not start this again…" Batman warned, voice muffled by the mask as Batwoman bounced the baby on her knee.

"You're just a big baby, that's all."

He had the inkling that she wasn't talking to Terry…

"Dad, remember when I used to poo in diapers?" Tim wondered.

"Tim, I didn't know you at that age."

"Oh…yeah, but remember?"

…

"You know, dad…We should use the baby's poo diapers as stink bombs. It would scatter a lot of people…"

"Hey! Your poop doesn't smell like roses!" Batwoman retorted, defending the 'defenseless' baby.

Luckily, they had reached the Batcave by then, and the older boys bounded out of the car excitedly.

Tossing their masks, they left them there for Batwoman to eventually pick up once she wasn't carrying Terry.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! No running in the cave!" Batman shouted.

When he was ignored, the Dark Knight fumed as Alfred walked up to greet them.

"Good to see you and the boys making it back in one piece, Mistress."

"We were lucky today, Alfred." Batwoman agreed.

"Alfred, I need you to change this kid…" Batman interrupted, handing over the small bat-baby.

"What are you going to have Alfred change him into this time, dad?" Dick joked.

"Make him a tanker truck." Jason added.

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"

"That joke's getting old…" Batman growled.

"Stick in the mud…" Batwoman stage-whispered to the boys, joining in their stifled laugh.

Tim wandered off to talk with his 'father', and she decided it was time to pick up the scattered mess.

Scooping up the gas masks and putting them back into the Batmobile, Batwoman went to pick up the discarded soda cans from the main computer.

Pausing when she heard Tim speak, she decided to listen in…

"Dad? You said you found the baby in a cabbage patch, right?"

"Yup…"

"You found me in a cabbage patch too, huh?"

"Tim, how many times do I have to tell you? I adopted you after your parents were brutally murdered and brought you here to train you so that one day, you can fight against the injustice to those who robbed you of your innocence…"

…

SMACK!!!

Wincing, Batman turned to see Batwoman's glare, and deflated.

"Yes, I found you in a cabbage patch not too far from where I found the baby…Happy?"

"Thanks, dad."

"Yeah…Whatever." Batman replied, massaging the bridge of his nose.

As Tim skipped away, the Dark Knight turned to his wife.

"Happy?"

"Yes."

Kissing him on the cheek, she smiled sweetly.

"VERY happy."

"Quit it, Dick!"

"What? You're still scared of the…JOKER! JOKER! JOKER! I said…JOKER!"

Poor Jason was near tears…

"…Bruce?"

"I'm on it."

He walked up right behind Dick…

"TWO-FACE!!!"

"AHHHH!"

"Thanks, dad!"

"You're welcome."

Face-palm.

Alfred returned with Terry, fresh diaper and all, with a message.

"Ms Talia al Ghul called. It concerns, as she puts it, your perfect child, Damian, that you and her created under the desert moon above the Tropic of Cancer and destined to carry on the legacy of Batman…needs new shoes."

"I was drugged! And until I see a blood test, that's not my kid!"

"Yes. I'll be sure to let Ms Talia know your 'mature answer'."

Cough, cough.

Batman's eyes widened at the sight of Batwoman, green eyes fiery and hip cocked.

She was ready to start something…

"And when did this 'Ms Talia' happen to have her way with you while creating this baby?"

"I was drugged, Jules!"

"When?"

"She doesn't even know if it's mine!"

A hand grasped his shirt, pulling the Dark Knight down to Batwoman's level.

"WHEN?"

"…Before we were married?"

Taking a moment to think it over, she released him, looking slightly irritated.

"With all these people claiming to have your kid, you're lucky I haven't beaten you up yet."

Knowing how lucky he was for that, Batman tickled Terry's stomach, getting back to his previous thought.

"But you're daddy's baby! Because daddy did a blood test with you! Yes I did! Yes I did!"

"Man, I'm gonna hurl!" Jason whined from his seat by the TV.

"Come on, dad…You're suppose to be the Batman. That was so uncool."

"Hey! I don't need to prove it to a bunch of punks like you who I am! I am the night! I am the-!"

"Dad?" Tim interrupted.

"What?!"

"I think you're cool!"

"At least someone in this family thinks I am…" Batman replied darkly.

"Oh, you big baby…" Batwoman muttered.

Dick and Jason were poking fun at the scene, and she just rolled her eyes.

"If it bothers you so much, _I_ think you're the best superhero in the world."

"…Better than Superman?"

Smiling, she kissed Batman's cheek again.

"DEFINITELY better than Superman."

Tim pulled on his father's cape, grinning.

"I'm your favorite, right dad?"

"Tim, don't make the baby laugh."


	6. Chapter 6 'Child's Play'

Batwoman was actually having a nice, relaxing day.

She had taken care of Terry and played with him to start, and after dropping him off with Batman, had turned on the TV to watch cartoons.

Folding laundry and putting it into seven piles, she fell into a comfortable rhythm.

As the sounds of Spongebob Squarepants filtered through her own little world, Batwoman decided to look out the window…

To see Dick, Jason, and Tim putting Terry into a home-made go-kart at the top of a large hill.

"MY BABY!!!!!!"

All of Gotham heard THAT one…

Jumping to her feet, she opened the window in a flash and jumped, using her cape to slow her descent.

Reaching them, Batwoman grabbed the back of the go-kart at the same time as Batman.

As he lifted the baby out and began stalking off, she glared accusingly at the boys.

"We weren't really going to send him to space, mom…" Dick defended.

"What made you think using Terry would be a GOOD IDEA?"

All three boys wilted…

Then they saw her grin.

"It would be MUCH more fun with Tim!"

Each agreed wholeheartedly, and the youngest Robin climbed into it as she positioned his headgear more securely.

"Ready?"

"Ready!"

"PUSH!"

One solid shove had the go-kart practically FLYING down the hill, and Batwoman dusted off her hands proudly.

"THIS will be one for the book…"

"TIM!"

All three watched in wide-eyed amazement as a grapple caught the go-kart and pulled Batman along for the ride.

"…Uh oh…"

Terry was accidentally released from his father's hold, but opened his wings so he glided to his mother safely.

Happy he was safe, she cuddled the bat-baby a moment before looking back at the cloud of breaking asphalt from her husband's…actions.

"You know, these things wouldn't happen if he just stops having kids." Jason noted.

Batwoman couldn't help laughing in agreement.


	7. Chapter 7 'Birthday Surprise'

"Mom? Mom, it's time to wake up."

"Mom...Mom. Mom!"

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy-!"

The mound of blankets on the bed shifted, yawning tiredly as it sat up.

"I'm up, I'm up…"

Pulling down the blanket, Batwoman stretched her back until it cracked.

Unmasked, because it was uncomfortable to sleep in a mask no matter WHAT Batman said, her tousled hair fell into her eyes and spilled onto her shoulders.

"What's up, boys?"

"Come on!"

"Hurry up, mom!"

"We made you breakfast!"

Looking dazed, Batwoman was pulled out of bed, and she smoothed her silk nightgown before grabbing her mask.

"Aw, boys…You didn't have to make me breakfast…"

The trio of Robins seemed too focused on their goal to reply, and she sighed.

'I hope they didn't make a huge mess…After I blew up the Mac 'n Cheese yesterday, Alfred hasn't been in a good mood…'

"Wait out here, mommy." Tim ordered cutely.

"Don't come in until we call you." Dick agreed as the three boys slipped into the kitchen.

Rolling her eyes, Batwoman played with her mask boredly…

"Come in!" Jason shouted, voice muffled by the door.

Pushing open the swinging door, she stepped inside and stopped, perplexed by the shower of bright confetti.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!"

The entire kitchen was decorated in ribbons and bright colors, with a breakfast feast spread out on the table.

Everyone in the room was wearing a party hat, from Dick to Terry to Alfred, and smiling for all they were worth.

After a moment, Batwoman smiled warmly and enveloped the four boys in a bear hug.

"Thanks, boys. This is the best birthday ever."

The door swung open again, and a tired-looking Batman stepped inside, coffee mug already in hand.

Stopping once a ribbon smacked into his nose, he took a few minutes to really LOOK at the kitchen…

"Why don't you guys ever do something like this for MY birthday?"


	8. Chapter 8 'And SHE'S The Favorite'

"Alright, who wants to help me make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?"

"We do! We do!" The Robins chorused.

"Good. Put on your safety gear while I get the C4."

"YAY!"

Once everyone has reassembled, Batwoman secured the bicycle helmets on each of their heads.

"Safety first." She reminded, pulling on fire-proof gloves and lifted up a blast shield.

"Stay back and listen carefully. The first step is to lather peanut butter on one stick of C4 and jelly on the other." She informed.

"You could put both on one huge piece, but that can get complicated."

"What about the bread?" Jason wondered.

"You stick it to the wall with butter. That makes it crispier after the explosion." Batwoman answered sagely, holding the detonator.

Pushing the boys behind the blast shield, she crouched behind it, tapping the hard plastic to be sure it would hold.

Grinning like a satisfied cat, the brunette put her thumb over the big red button.

"Ready?"

"Ready!"

"One…TWO…"

"What's going on in here-?"

"THREE!"

BOOM!!!

When the peanut butter had settled and the jelly stopped dripping, Batwoman and the trio of Robins looked over the blast shield.

Alfred stood in the open doorway, his entire front splattered with peanut butter, with a jelly-covered Terry giggling in his arms.

"Um…Hi, Alfred…"

Batman peeked into the room, and turned a knowing smirk to the butler.

"And SHE'S your favorite."


	9. Chapter 9 'Car Troubles'

Pulling a black tank top more securely over her stomach and brushing dirt off her grey booty shorts, Batwoman grinned.

"Who's ready to wash the Batmobile?"

"We are!"

Laughing softly at the fact that, despite wearing old clothing, all of them were still wearing their masks, Batwoman ruffled their hair.

"Go get the sponges and buckets, then. I'll handle the hose and soap."

They raced off to get their supplies, and she turned to unravel the unruly hose.

It was unwieldy thing, prone to curling or flailing as water sprayed from the mouth.

Many a man had been soaked by this thing…

'Never ask a man to do a woman's job.'

Grabbing the bottle of soap, she turned to see Tim already climbing onto the hood.

"At least wait for me to fill the buckets!"

Laughing softly at the enthusiasm, Batwoman squirted soap into the buckets before dropping in sponges.

As the hose filled the buckets up to the brim, Jason grabbed the first one and picked up the sponge.

That mischievous look was in his eyes, and she stopped for a moment.

"Jason, don't you dare-!"

SPLAT!

Tim, startled by the cold wetness smacking into his face, flailed and nearly fell off the car.

"JASON!"

All three boys stared at Batwoman, frightened she would blow up, before she grinned.

"Nice arm. Let me show you mine."

Her sponge splat against the back of the boy's head, and it started a huge water fight between them.

By the time they were done, the entire floor of the Batcave was soaked with soapy water.

Sitting on the ground, hair dripping bubbles, Batwoman laughed with the boys at the silliness of their actions.

"Alright, alright…Let's get to work, boys."

Once the dispirited protests died down, the group picked up sponges and began to wash the Batmobile.

Leaning over the hood to reach a speck, Batwoman blinked at a sudden flash of light.

Hands on the hood, she looked over her shoulder with a questioning gaze at Batman, who was holding a camera.

"What are you doing with that?"

"…Nothing."

A moment of silence…

Batman took another quick picture before darting out of the Batcave, and she blinked the stars away.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

Dripping wet and still playful, Batwoman ran after the fleeing Dark Knight.

"…You know what I just noticed?" Jason stated, sitting on top of the Batmobile.

"What?"

"…Mom has a nice ass."


	10. Chapter 10 'The Fifth'

"DAD! DAD, WE HAVE TO GO!"

"What are you yelling about, Dick?" Batman grumbled, looking over some photographs.

"It's the 5th!"

Freezing, Batman's wide eyes landed on the frightened Robins…

"The 5th?"

All three of them nodded, looking like frightened puppies, and the Dark Knight stood up.

"…MAKE A BREAK FOR IT!"

The four 'men' ran towards the Batmobile shrieking like frightened little girls and flailing like headless chickens.

Scrambling for the keyhole, Batman fumbled with his key ring.

"Hurry up, dad!"

"HURRY!"

"I'm trying, you little-!! WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY DAMN KEYS!?!"

"SHE'S COMING!"

Panicking now, Batman FINALLY found the right one, and stabbed it into the keyhole.

Unfortunately, he kept missing…

"DAD!"

It fit in, and he twisted sharply, unlocking all of the doors at once.

"GET IN-GET IN!"

Before anyone had buckled themselves in, or even closed the doors, the Batmobile was off.

Standing at the entrance to the Batcave, Batwoman blinked a moment before sighing.

"They ALWAYS do this right before I get my period…"


	11. Chapter 11 'Good Day Gone Bad'

Batman was actually having a very good day.

The Robins had stayed out of his stuff, he had caught Riddler and Two-Face in record time, and Batwoman hadn't yelled at him.

In fact, she had made him hot chocolate with marshmallows and turned the TV to sports for him.

A strange day, but definitely a good day…

The doorbell went off, filling the manor with an annoying echo, and Batman was ready to yell at whoever threatened to ruin his good time-.

"Don't worry, sweetie! I'll get it!"

…

'Is that my wife, or did someone replace her with a robot?'

Listing the pros and cons of having a nice robot for a wife, Batman straightened when a sigh came from the doorway.

"Bruce, Joker's sending me flowers again."

"What makes you think that?"

Batwoman stepped into the room, wearing a gas mask and hazmat gloves, holding a SMOKING bouquet of roses.

"He used REAL knock-out gas this time."


	12. Chapter 12 'Monopoly Crazed'

"Ha, I knew it! Pay up, Dick!"

"But dad, I won't have anything left!"

"You shouldn't have invested in the electric company then! Give me my five hundred!"

"Alright, alright…"

Batwoman watched silently as her husband counted the bills, laughing almost insanely, and sighed.

"Sweetie, you take Monopoly WAY too seriously…"


	13. Chapter 13 'Love Of A Bikini'

"Alfred, since when did we get a pool!?!"

"Since you paid to have one built, sir."

Batman's right eye twitched as Jason's enthusiastic plunge soaked his clothes…

"Why in the WORLD would I have one of THESE on the grounds!?!"

"Because you love us?" Tim suggested innocently, holding the tube that kept Terry above the water.

"…That CAN'T be it!!!"

"Maybe so you could see mom." Dick answered knowingly.

"I see your mother every day, why would I-!?!"

"Hey, boys! The water get any warmer?"

Batman turned, preparing himself to yell at his wife for knowing all along, but the sight of her froze his vocal cords.

She was an exquisite tanned color, which contrasted with the white bikini she had donned.

When Batwoman turned to accept a towel from Alfred, he noted it was a thong bikini.

Well…

She DID have a nice ass…

Batman decided it was in their best interest to keep the pool.


	14. Chapter 14 'Mommies More Than Daddies'

Batwoman stood in front of her bathroom mirror, putting on the finishing touches to her make-up.

She was wearing a silky, elegantly long crimson dress, with sinfully tall black strappy heels.

Her long brown hair fell down in a waterfall of curls down her back, and her lips were painted a seductive red.

"Mommy, why are you dressing up?" Tim questioned, watching the slow transformation with his brothers.

"Well, when mommies and daddies go out without their kids, they like to dress up." Batwoman explained, ruffling his hair.

"Are you ready to go yet?"

Batman stepped in, the only difference in his appearance being the tie around his neck.

Taking a moment to stare, Batwoman sighed and turned back to the boys.

"Mommies more than daddies."


	15. Chapter 15 'Late'

"…Bruce…"

Batman turned from his computer minutely, not ready to fully commit to listening at the moment.

"What? Bane just broke out."

Biting her lip, the brunette stepped forward and checked for kids.

"Bruce…I'm late."

"Then take the jet." He replied, blinking in confusion.

"No, Bruce. I'm LATE." Batwoman persisted.

"It's the tenth."

"…"

"…Bruce?"

"…"

"…Bruce, you need to breathe sometime."

"YOU CAN'T BE LATE!!!"

"…I think I preferred you in shock…"

He grabbed her shoulders, shaking the petite woman like a madman.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!! WE ALREADY HAVE THOSE THREE DEMONS TO LOOK AFTER!!!"

"…Demons? You're starting to exaggerate, Bruce."

"YOUR NAIVETE ISN'T THE POINT!!!"

"HEY…"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!"

"I could be."

…

"…What?"

"I COULD be pregnant. We won't know until I take a pregnancy test."

…

"TO THE BATHROOM!!!"

Dragged through the cave to the closest bathroom, Batwoman figured it was best to just let him panic.

After all, he was already frazzled enough for three people.

Batman opened the bathroom door and practically THREW her inside, and she barely caught the pregnancy test he tossed in after.

When the door slammed shut, she blinked in confusion before rolling her eyes.

"Alright, alright…I'll just pee on this damn stick thing…"

It took a few minutes, peeing on a stick is HARD damn it, but Batwoman finally managed it.

Stepping out, she watched Batman hop from foot to foot.

Grabbing his arm, the femme fatale superheroine sighed at the panicked look.

"Jeez, relax. It takes a minute."

After breathing a moment, Batman took hold of her shoulders.

"Don't worry, Jules. Even if you are pregnant, I promise we'll make that baby feel so loved we'll need three of them."

"Aw…Bruce…"

The timer set on the sink went off, and Batwoman turned to check the little symbol.

Comparing it to the box, her shoulders slumped slightly.

"It's negative…"

"YES!"

Blinking in confusion as Batman broke out into a happy dance, she turned to see him.

"WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANOTHER ONE!"

"What happened to that 'don't worry, we'll love the baby'?"

"I just said that so you wouldn't get emotional. As the man, I have to keep the woman from panicking."

"…"

"…Jules?"

"…"

"…Sweetie?"

PUNCH!!!

Batman flinched, rubbing his arm as she stalked off.

"…What did I say?"


	16. Chapter 16 'Forgetful Knight'

Batman wasn't a happy superhero that morning.

Joker had just gotten out of Arkham, AGAIN, and had painted love notes to Batwoman ALL OVER THE BATMOBILE.

After washing it off, he spent the rest of the night tracking down the elusive clown.

Fueled by five pots of coffee and Red Bull, the Dark Knight had stayed up until dawn in his fruitless search.

Having crashed by now, Batman went up to the actual manor and walked like a zombie to the kitchen.

Pushing open the door, he stopped at the sight before him.

The entire family was awake, wearing party hats, with groups of balloons tied on the edges of the table.

Dick was sitting in front of a large red and green-decorated cake, a lopsided party hat on his head.

Two candles, with the numbers '1' and '2' lit up at the top.

"…So, what are we celebrating today?"


	17. Chapter 17 'Cave Trouble'

"Jules, do you know what the boys are doing?!"

"Nope." Batwoman answered, sipping her Sunshine Caf as she flipped through the Gotham Times.

"They spray painted the cave wall!"

"That's nice, sweetie." She replied, skipping the obituaries.

"They just called me a geek!"

"Stand up for yourself, Bruce."

"Jason is hotwiring the Batwing!"

"Tell him to be safe." She said into the walkie talkie.

"TIM IS DRIVING THE BATMOBILE IN DOUGHNUTS!"

"Make sure he doesn't eat too many."

"OH MY GOD, TERRY'S HANGING ONTO THE BATWING!"

"Don't let him get too tired." She stated absentmindedly, shaking the large jug of pure caffeine.

"DICK, GET AWAY FROM THOSE CHEMICALS! OH MY GOD, THEY'RE BUBBLING!!!"

"Don't drink too much. You know how small your bladder is."

"_OH MY GOD_-!!!"

A muffled 'BANG' shook the house's foundation, and Batwoman sighed, folding the newspaper.

"Wonder what I'll have to clean up THIS time…"


	18. Chapter 18 'Duty Calls'

"No, Diana. They haven't been THAT bad lately." Batwoman assured, twirling the phone cord around her finger.

"Dick's been behaving himself, and Tim's got a big science fair to get ready for. Now Jason…We're still watching him."

BANG!!!

CRASH!!!

SHATTER!!!

"You little-!"

"Bruce, don't kill Jason!" Batwoman shouted, covering up the mouthpiece.

"I don't want to have to reset his arm again! No, Diana. He's fine. BRUCE, PUT DOWN THE BAT!"

Massaging the bridge of her nose, the brunette sighed as Jason ran past the living room, shrieking in half-fright.

"THAT VASE WAS $500000, YOU SNOT-NOSED LITTLE-!"

BONK!!!

Batman stumbled as an apple smacked into the back of his head, and Batwoman smirked in triumph.

"Aw, Bruce's alright. He's a big boy."

"MOM, HELP! HE'S PULLING OUT A BATARANG!"

"Sorry, Diana. Gotta go. Duty calls."


	19. Chapter 19 'Asylum Mishaps'

"He does this to me EVERY TIME…" Batwoman grumbled, stomping down the hallway.

"He acts like I'm asking him to chew off his arm…"

The white walls of Arkham Asylum had always irritated her eyes, and she personally hated it there.

"Why does he insist on coming here of all places? He's lucky that Alfred came home when he did…"

Pushing open the heavy doors at the end of the hall, Batwoman stormed into the rec room.

"Well, HELLO Batwoman." Joker greeted.

"Shove it." She snarled, turning to face her husband.

Sensing the danger, Batman shrunk into the hard metal chair in the face of her rage.

"What the HELL are you doing?! I go to get groceries for FORTY-FIVE MINUTES, and you end up in Arkham?!"

"Calm down, sweetie-."

"No, I will not calm down!! You do this EVERY TIME I leave the house for more than half an hour!!"

"You don't understand! The kids-!"

"I don't care if they blew up the toilet and teepeed the house!!"

Batman shrunk down again at her fierceness, and Batwoman grabbed him by the pointy ear before dragging the Dark Knight towards the door.

"I swear to all that is holy, you are sleeping on the couch until that crick in your neck becomes permanent!!"

"See you later, sweetcheeks!" Joker called, not perturbed by her anger.

"F*** YOU!!!"

"You know, I'd rather like that…"

A shoe proceeded to smack the derange clown upside the head…


	20. Chapter 20 'Bedtime Stories'

"Mommy, will you tell us a bedtime story?" Tim asked innocently.

"I don't know…You guys have to get up early for school tomorrow…" Batwoman replied hesitantly, tucking Jason in.

"But you always tell the best stories!" The youngest Robin insisted.

"Well…"

"PLEASE?" The three boys begged.

"Alright, alright…Which one do you want to hear tonight?" She conceded, sitting on an old rocking chair.

As they started to brainstorm ideas, the Dark Mistress lifted Terry into her arms, rocking the baby soothingly.

"OOH! What about the one where you fought Bane for the first time?"

"Or the one where you first beat up Catwoman!"

"I've got one! How about the first time you outsmarted Joker?"

"I've got a good story." Batwoman interjected, stopping their rambles.

"This one is about how your dad and I became superheroes."

The Robins smiled, snuggling into their thick covers and hugging pillows as Terry yawned.

"It all started one night when I was little girl. My dad, a Marine Lieutenant, had taken me and my mom out for ice cream one night…"


	21. Chapter 21 'Puppy Craze'

"They're so cute!"

"Hey, this one likes to rip up shoes, too!"

"This one has a spot on his butt!"

Batman, hearing the collective voices down the hall, followed them to find out what was going on.

He stopped at the doorway to the living room, flabbergasted.

A large cardboard box held a tired-looking female Dalmatian, with six little puppies crawling around.

Some were spotted, some were dark-colored, while others were almost off-white.

The Robins sat among them, smiling and laughing as they played with the little babies, and Batwoman held Terry as she played with one pup.

"What is this?"

Looking up, the petite superheroine smiled as the dark puppy she was playing with sat up.

"We found these little guys in an alley on the way home from school today. The boys wanted to take care of them."

"Oh no! NO! We're NOT getting a dog!"

"We're not getting a dog." Jason replied.

"We're getting a dog and PUPPIES."

"I don't care if it's the Easter Bunny! NO!"

"Bruce, don't be such a stick in the mud." Batwoman chided.

"Let's at least keep one puppy, and give away the others to good homes."

"We're not keeping ANY!"

Batman blinked in surprise when she grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down to her level.

"We-Are-Keeping-One."

"…Alright, sweetie."

Releasing him, Batwoman smiled once more and lifted up one of the rather large puppies.

It was a dark black, with bright blue eyes and white throat, and it gave a doggy-smile.

"Then we're keeping this one! I'm going to name him Tiny."

"…Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?"


	22. Chapter 22 'Proper Discipline'

"Jules!!!"

Lifting her gaze from 'TMNT', which was reaching the climax, Batwoman blinked innocently at an angry Batman.

"The dog chewed up my favorite cape!!!"

Turning her eyes to Tiny, who was held up by the scruff of the neck and chewing on a piece of bat-cape, she shrugged.

"So?"

"He's YOUR dog!!! Discipline him!!!"

"…Okay."

Standing, Batwoman took the Great Dane/Dalmatian mutt and looked into his eyes…

"Good boy."

Batman's eye twitched as she cuddled and pet the puppy.

"…Why do I even bother?"


	23. Chapter 23 'Poo Alert'

"AH!!!"

CRASH!!!

"Get back here, you little-!!!"

"MOM, DAD'S TRYING TO KILL US!!!"

"HE'LL TEAR US APART LIMB BY LIMB!!!"

"Don't exaggerate, boys." Batwoman replied calmly from the library, flipping leisurely through 'The Golden Compass'.

"MOMMY, HE'S GOT A MALLET!!!"

"Run faster, honey." She advised, sipping her cream-laden coffee.

"OH MY _LORD_-!!!"

"POO ALERT!!!"

SLIP!!!

BANG!!!

"MY _EYE_!!!"

Tiny practically skipped into the room a moment later, almost smiling, as he curled up by her feet.

Smiling, Batwoman leaned down to pet his head.

"Good boy."


	24. Chapter 24 'Bathtime'

"Everyone ready?"

The trio of Robins pulled on their safety helmets and strapped on elbow pads.

"Ready!"

"Good."

Batwoman pulled on a hockey mask and adjusted rubber gloves on her hands.

"Let's do this."

Three hours later, Tiny was FINALLY clean…


	25. Chapter 25 'Late Knight Worries'

Stumbling into the bedroom late at night, Batman tugged off his cape and boots.

Leaving them on the floor, too tired to care, he pulled off his gloves before turning on the bedside lamp.

Pausing, Batman took the time to take in the sight on the bed.

Batwoman was maskless, muscles relaxed and breathing blissfully deep, with his pillow tucked under her chin and against her chest.

Even Tiny was asleep, curled up by her head.

She seemed so peaceful…

Crawling into bed and turning off the light, Batman pulled her to his chest.

"Hm…Bruce?" She slurred, nuzzling her husband's shoulder.

"I got worried…"

"It's alright, Jules…I'm here…"

Batman's shoulders slumped as Batwoman's breathing evened out on his shoulder…

"I'm here…"


	26. Chapter 26 'Sacrifice'

"What are you three doing?!" Batman demanded.

The fake skull-wearing Robins looked up at him innocently from where they stood near a blood-covered altar.

"We're sacrificing Tiny to appease the gods and become immortal." Jason answered easily.

"…Alright, go ahead."

"BRUCE!!!"


	27. Chapter 27 'AWWWWWWWWWWW'

"Mrs. Wayne?"

Alfred's voice pulled her attention from 'Misadventures of Flapjack' and the laundry, and Batwoman blinked.

"Yes, Alfred?"

"I believe you would like to get the camera."

"The camera?"

Grabbing said device, the Dark Mistress followed the butler to Terry's crib.

Inside, the toddler was fast asleep, with Tiny curled over him as if in protection.

Whenever the binkie fell from Terry's lax mouth, and he started to tear up, Tiny would carefully pick it up and put it back in.

Holding the tape recorder, Batwoman only had one thing to say…

"AWWWW…"


	28. Chapter 28 'Woman's Intuition'

"Jules, what are you doing?"

"Training Tiny."

"…With a dummy dressed like Catwoman?"

"Yup."

"…You don't think this is a little extreme?"

"Nope."

"…Still suspect she's flirting with me?"

"Most definitely."

As Batman watched Tiny tearing at the cloth dummy, he wondered what Batwoman would do if she knew Terry was Selina's…

"Carry on."


	29. Chapter 29 'Duck'

"…What's that?"

"Wires."

"…What are they for?"

"Setting off this C4."

"…WHY?"

"This toaster betrayed me. It burned my toast."

"So you're going to blow it up?!"

"Of course, Bruce. What else would I do with it?"

"Throw it away?!"

"…But that's BORING…"

"Julia-!!"

"Oh, RELAX. Just duck."

"Duck?"

Click.

BOOM!!!

"...YES."

"…"

"Bruce?"

"…"

"Jeez, Bruce. I told you to duck."


	30. Chapter 30 'Priceless'

CRASH!!!

"Front hall vase, $60000." Batwoman stated, scratching behind a sleeping Tiny's ears.

BANG!!!

"China platter, $3000."

CLATTER!!!

"Fine silver, $7000."

"AHHH!!!"

"WE'RE SORRY, DAD!!! WE'RE SORRY!!!"

"YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU LITTLE PUNKS!!!"

Batwoman smiled, placing the pup on her chair as she stood up, patting his head for good measure.

"The yelling of enraged family members, priceless."


	31. Chapter 31 'Earn Your Keep'

Batman was sick of it.

All of the chewed-up capes, boots, gloves, pants, cowls and underwear were taking their toll.

So he decided to do something about it.

While Batwoman was ironing her things, Batman took the little hellhound and sped away with him in the Batmobile.

Hours away from Gotham, the Dark Knight opened the passenger door and glared.

"Get out of the car."

Tiny only looked up at him innocently, bright blue Puppy-Dog Eyes trying to melt his resolve.

"Go! I don't want you in my house anymore!"

Puppy-Dog Eyes.

"You're not coming back!"

Batman was wavering.

"GO!"

So CLOSE…

Tiny whimpered, soft and sad, eyes almost pleading for comfort.

"…Come here."

Lifting the pup into his arms, Batman turned the car around to head home.

"But you better earn your keep, mutt…"


	32. Chapter 32 'Rivalry: Part One'

"You're a big jerk! And I'm gonna pound you into the ground, Jason!"

"Bring it on!"

"That's enough!" Batman barked, holding both Dick and Jason up by their capes.

Shaking her head, Batwoman took a wailing Terry from Alfred and tried to soothe him.

"They do this every year…"

Tiny barked, as if to break them up, and she tugged softly on his silver-studded black collar.

"Sh. They'll hear you, boy."

When Tim punched his brothers in the stomach, both parents almost jumped in surprise.

"TIM!!!" Batman and Batwoman shouted at the same time.

"I saw my chance!"

Poor Dick and Jason were groaning in pain now, and Batwoman shook her head.

"You deserved it. Now march."

"But MOM…" They whined.

"MARCH."

"Let's go." Batman agreed, pushing the boys forward.

"And get this nightmare over with."

Rolling her eyes, Batwoman adjusted Terry in her arms as they passed under the sign.

'Justice League And Justice Society Annual Family Outing'.

"You're such a sourpuss, Bruce. Enjoy yourself!"

"No."

"…And people wonder why I married you…" She stated mockingly.

"Don't start THAT again!"

"Bruce! Jules! You made it!"

"Lost that bet, didn't you Clark?"

Batwoman jabbed her elbow into his stomach, smiling at the Kryptonian.

"Hey, Clark. Hello, Lois."

"Hello. Kara, Connor…Say 'hello' to Mr. and Mrs. Wayne and their family." Lois encouraged.

"I'm scared of the bunny-man!" Connor claimed.

"Bunny-man?!"

"Oh, because of your ears." Superman realized.

Handing Terry over to Alfred, Batwoman crouched down and smiled at the frightened boy.

"Hi, Connor. Remember me?"

"…Y-Yes…" He sniffled, coming out from behind Lois.

"I gave you ice cream last time, right? And I'm not scary, am I?"

Shaking his head, the young Kryptonian stepped forward and shook her offered hand.

"So don't be scared, okay?"

As he nodded, Batwoman tuned in to the other conversation…

"Oh, why's the baby so sad?"

"Teething or something…I don't know."

"Ups-A-Daisy!"

"MY BABY!!!"

…

"Clark, you better not have done what I think you just did."

"Relax. He'll be down in a second."

"DOWN IN A SECOND?!"

Standing up in order to spin around, Batwoman saw Batman ready to strangle the Man of Steel.

"What do you mean DOWN IN A SECOND?!"

"Calm down. He's fine."

…

"I better go get him…"

"Get me the Kryptonite." Batman demanded darkly.

"AUUGH! BUNNY-MAN GONNA KILL ME!"


	33. Chapter 33 'Rivalry: Part Two'

Batwoman actually enjoyed these family outings.

She didn't get to see her friends in person very often, no matter how great video chats were.

Of course, there were some things she didn't enjoy at all…

Pushing the thought away, she smiled before sitting next to Hal Jordan and Flash.

"Hey, Hal. Barry."

"Hey, Jules…"

"Julie! How's the ol' Bats doing?"

"Grouchy as ever." She half-joked.

"Is he still mad at me? You know, for the whole Parallax thing…"

"Of course not! Bruce doesn't hold a grudge!"

"Hey, Bruce!" Hal greeted as Alfred set up the playpen for Terry.

"Go to hell!"

"…Okay, maybe he DOES hold a grudge…" Batwoman admitted.

"Um…I'll just go find Tiny before he gets into trouble…"

Going off in search of the rapidly-growing pup, the Dark Mistress whistled for him.

"TINY! COME HERE, TINY! COME ON, BOY! COME TO MOMMA!"

Stopping by a picnic table, Batwoman looked around in mild concern.

'He's probably following Terry around…They're really close, after all…'

"Julia?"

"Diana!"

Dispelling her worry, the small superheroine embraced with Amazon.

"It's been too long! How have you been?"

"I've been alright. How have the boys been treating you?"

"Like they always do. It's tiring, but I'm fine."

"Well…Um…"

"What's up, Diana? Did Jason hit someone again?"

"No…It's just…"

Batwoman's brow furrowed, and Wonder Woman sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Oliver Queen's here. Looking for Bruce."

"…"

"Julia?"

"…Aw CRAP…"

Massaging the bridge of her nose, the femme fatale superheroine released a breath.

"Sorry, Diana. Gotta run."

"I understand. Don't hurt them too much."

Nodding slightly, Batwoman went off in search of the, no doubt, bickering pair.

'Every-Single-Year.'

Seeing the two groups up ahead, she sped up, cape silent now as the petite woman walked up behind Queen…

"AH!"

Tiny yelped as Green Arrow kicked his leg out, dislodging the small puppy-teeth from his shin.

"Stupid mutt! I should have known you'd have a disobedient stray, Ghoul!"

"At least he smells better than you do, Queen!"

"Oh, REAL mature! I wondered where your bat-droppings learned to be smart-assed delinquents!"

Batman seemed ready to retort loudly, but he caught sight of a ticked-off Batwoman standing behind Green Arrow.

"Queen…"

"What, don't have a comeback? Or did your wife whip you of them?"

Wide-eyed, the Bat Clan began to back away as hellfire practically crackled around Batwoman's frame…

"Scared of me now, Ghoul?"

"Not you."

Confusion crossed Green Arrows face.

"Hello, Queen."

Jumping, startled by the eerily-calm voice suddenly behind him, the man spun around to see who it was.

"Oh! Hi, Julia…"

"I heard you talking about my dog."

"Y-Your dog?"

It was a well-known fact that Batwoman loved her boys, loved all the children, as if they were related by blood.

She was a sweetheart, always getting ice cream and sweets for them, despite being childishly mischievous.

When she loved something, most people knew about it.

Insulting something she cared for, in any way, was like poking an angry fire-breathing dragon.

"You see, that puppy is like my baby. Those boys are my babies."

That calm voice was more bone-chilling than her usual angry yelling…

"Have you ever met a man that messed with bear cubs, Queen?"

"No…"

"I think there's a good reason for that."

Green Arrow was starting to notice that no one was coming with Batarang distance of them…

"So let me give you one last warning."

Pulling him down to her level, blazing emerald eyes threatened to set the Robin Hood look-a-like aflame.

"If you EVER insult my babies again, so help me GOD, I will gut you like a fish, hang you by your intestines, boil you in acid, peel off your skin, cut out your eyes to feed to hellhounds, and have them chase you down to the darkest pits of Hell from WHENCE THEY CAME!!!"

Taking a moment to let that sink in, Batwoman held up a Batarang as validation for her threat.

"Do I make myself clear?"

He nodded vigorously, feeling like he was facing down the Devil in female form.

Green Arrow felt his children shaking against the back of his legs.

Eyes brightening, dark storm clouds of wrath lifting, Batwoman released him, looking as if she had not been enraged only moments before.

"I'm glad we understand each other, Queen."

As the Dark Mistress turned to walk away, she grinned.

"Who wants ice cream?!"

The tension in the air dissipated as children excitedly raised their hands, and she began to herd them off…

"Jeez, MOODY. Is she PMSing?"

Air practically crackling with fury, Batwoman stiffly turned to face Green Arrow once more.

It was like looking down the barrel of the gun.

Superheroes and superheroines backed away to safety, children were sheltered, as Joker pulled on a foam finger stating 'Batwoman's #1'.

Holding up his video camera, he joined in the other villain's chant.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

Green Arrow was a dead man…


	34. Chapter 34 'Rivalry: Part Three'

Grumbling slightly still, Batwoman cuddled Tiny like a baby as they walked around the massive field.

Tiny seemed to soothe her, whimpering cutely and licking her nose.

"Don't mind Queen, sweetie. I don't think you're moody." Batman assured, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"You're just saying that because I dislocated his arm…"

"…A little."

"That was still cool, mom!" Jason stated, grinning.

"Yeah…I AM pretty cool…"

They didn't notice they were passing by the elderly superheroes until…

"Slow down, you whipper snappers!"

"Still crying for mommy and daddy, Brucie?"

"Remember to brush your prayers and say your teeth every night!"

"Yes, Mr. Scott…No, Mr. Grant! You son of…Yes, Mr. Garrick…"

Bruce had never really liked them, and Batwoman couldn't blame him.

They did a LOT of things to him as a toddler…

"Well, if it isn't little Julie! Still a ball-buster, huh?"

"You bet, Mr. Grant."

"Got yourself a new rugrat? Let's have a gander…"

"Fine." Batman agreed, grumbling.

"Hope he's not a big crybaby like you were, Brucie!" Wildcat stated as Alfred held out a smiling Terry.

Batwoman knew that look in her husband's eyes…

"Bruce-."

In the blink of an eye, Batman had shoved Jason into Wildcat's grasp instead of Terry.

"Gotcha, you little rascal!"

"Here comes the funny clown!"

"Coochie coochie coo!"

"HEY!"

"GO! GO! GO!" Batman urged, herding the rest of them away.

"BRUCE!" Batwoman retorted, being dragged by her wrist.

"What the HELL, Bruce?!"

"What about Jason?" Dick agreed.

"He'll be fine."

"Fine?! You threw him to the wolves!!"

"I thought you liked them!" Batman countered.

"They're easier on girls. And once you kick them in the balls, they stop messing with you."

"…Lucky…"

Grinning, Batwoman put Tiny down and reached into a pocket of her belt.

"See the ball, boy? See it?"

Jumping up and down, the pup barked excitedly in reply.

Tiny really had grown, and was already nearing her knees at the shoulder.

"Go get it!"

Throwing the tennis ball, she shielded her eyes from the dust he kicked up as he chased it.

"Come on. Let's get our food before he comes back and tries to eat our burgers."

"Hey, wait up!" Jason called, running up.

"How did you get away from the old guys?" Dick wondered.

"I threw a stink pellet, and when they were blaming each other I got away."

"Good boy, Jason." Batman praised.

…

Face-palm.

Rolling her eyes, Batwoman accepted a plate from Alfred and followed Batman and Jason to the grill.

"When are we going to eat, Clark?"

"In a second, Bruce."

"There isn't any charcoal in that thing! It's not a gas grill…How do you expect-?"

Batwoman and Jason watched, wide-eyed, as Superman used his heat vision on the hamburgers…

"…COOL!"

"That's DISGUSTING!" Batman claimed.

"You have no sense of adventure." Batwoman retorted.

"Grab a burger and lighten up."

"I will not-!"

Stuffing a burger in her husband's mouth to shut him up, Batwoman smiled as she grabbed one for herself.

Ignoring his glare, she went to take a seat with Tim and Dick, Jason trailing behind because he wanted more burgers.

When Batman joined them, he sat down and realized something.

"Forgot a drink…Tim, go get a soda for me, please?"

"Okay!"

"AW…You learned to say please!"

"…Shut up…"

Giggling, Batwoman stood up to help little Tim reach the table holding the sodas.

"Up you go."

Lifting him up, she watched him grab a Pepsi and a Diet Coca Cola.

"Who's the Diet for, honey?"

"You said you were going on a diet."

"…No, that was daddy…"

"Oh…"

"…"

"…I'll just grab a Coke."

"Good boy."

Putting him down, Batwoman accepted the red soda can and started walking back.

"Never tell a woman she needs to go on a diet, honey. Remember that."

"I will, mommy."

Stopping, she blinked in surprise to see a panicking Batman shoving Jason's soda into Dick's lap…

"…Do I want to know why you're putting a cold drink in his lap, or should I just walk away?"

Batman whispered the problem into her ear, and Batwoman stayed silent a moment before rolling her eyes.

"You're overreacting. It's not that strange for a boy his age to start becoming interested in girls."

"He's too young for this!"

"Dad, I'm twelve!"

"Twelve? I thought you were eight. You're too short to be twelve."

"You walked in on his twelfth birthday party, Bruce!" Batwoman chided, smacking him upside the head.

"I'm nine, in case you're wondering." Jason added.

"He's twenty-five, dad." Dick pointed out, gesturing towards Terry as he was bottle-fed.

"…I hate leaving the cave…"

"We hate it too, sweetie. We hate it too."

"Come on, Connor." Tim urged, dragging Superman's son towards them.

"No! No! I'm scared of the 'Bunny-Man'!"

"He's not the 'Bunny-Man'. He's Batman." The youngest Robin replied.

"Batman? …Batman isn't scary!"

"No he's not! He's a nice man!"

"Ha! Batman!"

…

Batman grabbed Connor by the shirt, and Batwoman blinked in mild confusion.

"_I'm the 'Bunny-Man'_!"

As Connor flew away in a terror, Batwoman sighed, dropping her face into a hand and sighing.

"There's nothing more fun than tormenting a Kryptonian. You boys remember that."

"And they make a great burger, too!" Jason agreed.

"I don't have any friends…" Tim whined.

"Tim, you have us." Batman assured.

…

"WAH!"

SMACK!!!

"Don't make the boys cry, Bruce."

Grumbling for a while, Batman finally turned to her as she finished her food.

"Are you going to participate this year?"

"Nope."

"But-!"

"Every time I participate, you always grab my ass and shove it in Queen's face that you married me."

"So?"

"…I'm not getting involved." Batwoman stated firmly.

"Because if I get involved, you and Queen won't have any manhood to speak of within the hour."

…

Batman decided it would be better for Batwoman to do her own thing.


	35. Chapter 35 'Rivalry: Part Four'

By the time Tiny got back to the picnic table, everyone else had run off to watch the competition.

Looking around and finding Terry, the pup trotted over, dropping his ball and licking the toddler's face.

Terry giggled, hugging his canine friend around the neck, and tried to stand.

Wobbling, he almost fell over, but Tiny broke his fall.

Standing next to the toddler, he allowed the youngster to use his shoulders and back as support.

Once Terry could balance on his own, he began to walk off, Tiny following at his heels.

This was going to be one wild ride…


End file.
